Merry XMAS

So I know I said my next blog would be about the political problems with turning an unused right of way through the North Coast redwoods into a bike trail, but that's not happening. I'm at home with a mild case of tonsillitis and my notes on the North Coast Railroad Authority are in the office.

Instead, I'll jot down a devilish (at least I think so) little script for a 30-second TV commercial that Republicans could use if the budget stalemate goes into October.

Constitutionally the budget for the state of CA should be in place by July 1. The current record for not having a spending plan enacted is 67 days. That infamous document was signed Sept. 5, 2002 by then Gov. Gray Davis. The next year Arnold ushered Davis out of town.

Having the stalement continue into October is almost unthinkable, but in thinktankland, and with the politics of the situation, this just could be the year of the perfect storm:
1. Republicans aren't going to gain or lose a single seat in the legislature because a budget isn't passed.
2. Legislative Republicans want to extract a pound of flesh from the Governor for having stiffed them on global warming legislation.
3. The CA Republican Party could get decline-to-state voters to switch registration if it sticks to its "taxpayer defender" image and drops its "polluter protector" image.

# 3 is pure thinktank and has to do with Senate Republicans linking votes for the state's budget to changes they want made to the CA Environmental Quality Act. Tying the CEQA issue to the budget is a loser for Republicans because if the budget stalemate goes on for months it'll cost too much in outreach campaigns or be just plain old impossible to convince voters why these two issues should be linked. More importantly tying CEQA to the budget detracts from their winning issue: prudent spending. If the budget conference report gets reopened, an October signing isn't unlikely. At that point, the February presidential primary will be around the corner. Months of news stories and possibly issue ads reinforcing the CA GOP as the home for prudent spenders can only help get-out-the-vote efforts before the February primary. The benefits from those stories and ads should even spill over to the June primary and November general too.

OK, back to my idea for a 30-second TV commercial.

Scene: Check out counter at expensive looking department store around Christmas time.

Characters:
Don Perata -- Senate Pres. Pro Tem -- dressed in a mobster lookin' sharkskin pinstrip suit. No fedora.

Fabian Nunez -- Assembly Speaker -- attired in custom wool suit with expensive looking silk tie.

Yes Men and Women -- 10 or 15 hangers-on, also in fine sartorial fashion, all clutching stuffed shopping bags.

Department Store Clerk -- Someone old enough to look like he or she should be retired.

Opening screen: text plus voice over in tone of game show announcer - "The CA Legislature goes Christmas shopping. Starring your Senate President pro Tem Don Perata and your Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez." Quick fade to black. Opening scene: Perata and Nunez walking side by side approaching the clerk with their Yes Men and Women trailing closely. Perata and Nunez have "ignorance is bliss" type countenances. Yes Man No. 1 carries a humidor

Perata (to Nunez) -- Getting Arnie a humidor for Christmas was a great idea.
Nunez -- Yeah, he can put his cuban cigars in this one.

Yes Man No. 1 plops humidor on counter top. Departs meekly back to group

Clerk -- How would you like to pay for this?
Perata and Nunez (jovially and in unison) -- Credit card!

Perata snaps his fingers summoning for a credit card. Yes Man No. 2 drops his bags and reaches into his suit jacket as he scurries forward. By the time he reaches Perata, Yes Man No. 2 has the card out and is reading from it.

Yes Man No. 2 -- Got one here boss. It's from Demos Burden of Bakersfield.

Perata snootily accepts the card, then passes it to the clerk. Clerk runs card.

Clerk (avers) -- Nope. This one's maxed out.

Clerk passes card back to Perata. Perata with an angry look hands card to Yes Man No. 2 then shoos him away with a wave of the hand. Perata turns his head towards Nunez, shrugs slightly and simultaneously gives Nunez a "shit happens" kind of look. Nunez immediately snaps his fingers for a card. Yes Man No. 3 scurries forth in same fashion as Yes Man No. 2.

Yes Man No. 3 (reading from credit card) -- Umm, this one belongs to Sage Procure from San Rafael.

Yes Man 3 hands card to Nunez, who then confidentally pushes it across the counter. Clerk sighs wearily, reluctantly runs card.

Clerk (avers) -- Same thing. Maxed out. (Annoyed tone) You guys have any cash?

Nunez turns toward Perata

Nunez (inquisitive tone, but not sheepish) -- Do you suppose we should be a little more careful with spending?

Perata (chiding) -- Of course not, we can have all the money we want. (Jovial tone with big grin) We're the government.

Perata and Nunez laugh heartily.

Screen changes to text with voice over: Tell the Legislature to reopen the budget and get it done right this time. Go to saveusfromdebtorsprison.com.