Monday, April 9, 2007

Jan drivels, Basso quibbles

The organization representing UCI Pro Tour teams has called for all riders implicated in the Operation Puerto blood doping scandal to submit to DNA tests following former Tour de France champion Jan Ulrich having been conclusively linked to the scandal through such testing.

Ulrich says he's "blameless" in the whole affair and will tell his "version of the facts" in an upcoming memoir, "Bikes, Blow and Babes... the only reasons to ride." In the memoir, Ulrich says that if he really wanted that badly to win the Tour again he would have hired the guy who dresses up like the devil to kneecap Lance with a lead pipe after the 2001 stage to Alp d'Huez.

The other 2006 tour contender implicated in the scandal, Ivan Basso, also claims innocence and says he'll gladly submit to a DNA test. Providing that his DNA sample is submitted in connection to a judicial or national governing body's investigation led by Inspector Clouseau. Basso, however, didn't require the exhumation of slapstick genius Peter Sellers, which leaves the door open for Steve Martin to reprieve the role he fumbled in a 2005 remake.

On Saturday, Levi Leipheimer blew through the finish line at Copperopolis without stopping to sign a single autograph. On his way past the crowd lining the street Levi shouted over his shoulder, "Can't stop now, I've gotta find Steve."

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