Bran muffins for breakfast

I'm a pretty regular guy who likes a regular routine. I wave hi on my way to work each day to the same neighbors taking a walk. I park in the same spot on the 4th floor of the city garage. But today marks the first unnerving occasion concerning my morning routine. Every day about a half hour before lunch I grab the sports page and take a trip to the reading room. All this week I've been sharing the library with a man on my floor who has to be in his seventies. I'm sorry but something ruins a soon to be middle aged guy's most peaceful part of the day when there's a septugenarian nearby who's on the same bodily function schedule. I guess all that's left for me to look forward to now is moving my office closer to the end of the hall in case of emergencies.