Merry XMAS

So I know I said my next blog would be about the political problems with turning an unused right of way through the North Coast redwoods into a bike trail, but that's not happening. I'm at home with a mild case of tonsillitis and my notes on the North Coast Railroad Authority are in the office.

Instead, I'll jot down a devilish (at least I think so) little script for a 30-second TV commercial that Republicans could use if the budget stalemate goes into October.

Constitutionally the budget for the state of CA should be in place by July 1. The current record for not having a spending plan enacted is 67 days. That infamous document was signed Sept. 5, 2002 by then Gov. Gray Davis. The next year Arnold ushered Davis out of town.

Having the stalement continue into October is almost unthinkable, but in thinktankland, and with the politics of the situation, this just could be the year of the perfect storm:
1. Republicans aren't going to gain or lose a single seat in the legislature because a budget isn't passed.
2. Legislative Republicans want to extract a pound of flesh from the Governor for having stiffed them on global warming legislation.
3. The CA Republican Party could get decline-to-state voters to switch registration if it sticks to its "taxpayer defender" image and drops its "polluter protector" image.

# 3 is pure thinktank and has to do with Senate Republicans linking votes for the state's budget to changes they want made to the CA Environmental Quality Act. Tying the CEQA issue to the budget is a loser for Republicans because if the budget stalemate goes on for months it'll cost too much in outreach campaigns or be just plain old impossible to convince voters why these two issues should be linked. More importantly tying CEQA to the budget detracts from their winning issue: prudent spending. If the budget conference report gets reopened, an October signing isn't unlikely. At that point, the February presidential primary will be around the corner. Months of news stories and possibly issue ads reinforcing the CA GOP as the home for prudent spenders can only help get-out-the-vote efforts before the February primary. The benefits from those stories and ads should even spill over to the June primary and November general too.

OK, back to my idea for a 30-second TV commercial.

Scene: Check out counter at expensive looking department store around Christmas time.

Characters:
Don Perata -- Senate Pres. Pro Tem -- dressed in a mobster lookin' sharkskin pinstrip suit. No fedora.

Fabian Nunez -- Assembly Speaker -- attired in custom wool suit with expensive looking silk tie.

Yes Men and Women -- 10 or 15 hangers-on, also in fine sartorial fashion, all clutching stuffed shopping bags.

Department Store Clerk -- Someone old enough to look like he or she should be retired.

Opening screen: text plus voice over in tone of game show announcer - "The CA Legislature goes Christmas shopping. Starring your Senate President pro Tem Don Perata and your Assembly Speaker Fabian Nunez." Quick fade to black. Opening scene: Perata and Nunez walking side by side approaching the clerk with their Yes Men and Women trailing closely. Perata and Nunez have "ignorance is bliss" type countenances. Yes Man No. 1 carries a humidor

Perata (to Nunez) -- Getting Arnie a humidor for Christmas was a great idea.
Nunez -- Yeah, he can put his cuban cigars in this one.

Yes Man No. 1 plops humidor on counter top. Departs meekly back to group

Clerk -- How would you like to pay for this?
Perata and Nunez (jovially and in unison) -- Credit card!

Perata snaps his fingers summoning for a credit card. Yes Man No. 2 drops his bags and reaches into his suit jacket as he scurries forward. By the time he reaches Perata, Yes Man No. 2 has the card out and is reading from it.

Yes Man No. 2 -- Got one here boss. It's from Demos Burden of Bakersfield.

Perata snootily accepts the card, then passes it to the clerk. Clerk runs card.

Clerk (avers) -- Nope. This one's maxed out.

Clerk passes card back to Perata. Perata with an angry look hands card to Yes Man No. 2 then shoos him away with a wave of the hand. Perata turns his head towards Nunez, shrugs slightly and simultaneously gives Nunez a "shit happens" kind of look. Nunez immediately snaps his fingers for a card. Yes Man No. 3 scurries forth in same fashion as Yes Man No. 2.

Yes Man No. 3 (reading from credit card) -- Umm, this one belongs to Sage Procure from San Rafael.

Yes Man 3 hands card to Nunez, who then confidentally pushes it across the counter. Clerk sighs wearily, reluctantly runs card.

Clerk (avers) -- Same thing. Maxed out. (Annoyed tone) You guys have any cash?

Nunez turns toward Perata

Nunez (inquisitive tone, but not sheepish) -- Do you suppose we should be a little more careful with spending?

Perata (chiding) -- Of course not, we can have all the money we want. (Jovial tone with big grin) We're the government.

Perata and Nunez laugh heartily.

Screen changes to text with voice over: Tell the Legislature to reopen the budget and get it done right this time. Go to saveusfromdebtorsprison.com.

Thinkin' bout bike trails

Tom Torlakson, a CA state senator from Antioch, has a bill SB 669. A link to its current text is here. From the bill language, Torlakson wants to build a bike/hiking trail through the Delta that would link to the San Francisco Bay Trail system. To pay for it, he's looking to put local bond measures on a ballot, perhaps a half or quarter cent sales tax increase for county voters to either approve or disapprove.

If Torlakson's bill gets passed and voters approve the money, we're one step closer to having a dedicated bike/hiking trail going from SF to Tahoe. The Torlakson trail would link to the American River Bike Trail which goes to Folsom. From there its only another 60 or 70 miles to Tahoe.

A SF to Tahoe bike trail kinda of seems like pie in the sky today, but I'm seeing pieces scattered around that could fit together after a few years of hard work. Call me a dreamer. Anyone else out there walking around with rose colored glasses on?

Other than the cost and potential eminent domain issues for the right of way, the Torlakson Bay/Delta Trail is a political cake walk compared with the North Coast Rail Authority which is sitting on hundreds of miles of unused right-of-way through the redwoods. A rough map of the right-of-way is here. If I get time tomorrow, I'll lay out some of what I know about trying to turn that right of way into a bike/hiking trail. It's a long story and a worthwhile effort.

Cheers all.

Note to self

Don't stay at bar past your bedtime then come home and leave comments on The Mothership. While the intentions may be good, obsequious risk is high

Dee, tuh, dee

So now's the time of year in CA when next year's budget gets negotiated. I think the heads of state are looking at somewhere around $102 to $103 billion in general fund spending.

One of the sticking points is money for our thirsty state's water needs. Developers and their friends in the legislature want funds for dams or underground storage. Environmentalists and their friends in the legislature want funds for conservation efforts.

The Governor likes the idea of building more dams. In fact, in his proposed budget he included money for building two. He reasoned that dams will help us mitigate wild weather swings caused by global warming.

That just cracks me up. We need more dams because of global warming. Strategically, that's about the same as planning to swallow poison but dialing 911 before you do it.

Ride a Bike Save the World

Despite the jingoistic title on this post, I do believe there's a kernel of truth in that bumper sticker message (kinda relates to my use less oil, win the war in Iraq and overall war on terror ponderings - see, if you want, "Plain as the nose on your face" post below).

But this story here from today's LA Times is just one more spoke in the "Ride a Bike Save the World" wheel. Bamboo bikes. Who'd thunk it?

I'm kinda tongue-in-cheek on this one. Kinda not.

-------

In the ride a bike have some fun category, Saturday was the Specialized/Sierra Nevada Crit (that's my team's race). It wasn't fun getting schooled by Safeway, again, but talking afterwards with my teammates it feels like we came away with a better understanding of how to race together. Sometimes I get caught in a myopic trap thinking there's only one way to read a race as it's unfolding. Then I get unduly frustrated when it looks to me like a teammate isn't doing his assigned job.

But you know what, there are as many points of view on how a race is unfolding as there are bikes in the peleton. What's important is to trust your teammate. If things don't go according to plan, so what, time to ad lib.

And as far as getting the job done goes, I fell short on Saturday. Peter Allen started his lead out for me with about 2/3s of the last lap to go and mashed through the backstrectch at 34 mph, which was burning fast for the wind conditions. It was the best lead out I've had in my life, then I chundered the sprint by waiting too long to jump and got beat to the hole shot by someone.

Guys, if you're reading this, I shouldn't have said we rode poorly as a team. It wasn't a perfect race, but to me, it was encouraging. So onto Burlingame.

----

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more." (Henry V)

Better than a stick in the eye

The first half of Sunday's 60-minute EMC geezer crit was about as exciting as a single's bar in a retirement community. Minor attempts at friskiness, but really, there's no point.

I had a lousy view once the action started. According to the AMD-geezerifics blog Safeway's Chris Wire went for a prime with AMD's Larry Nolan in tow and they got a gap on the field. Guys at the front who knew a good thing when they saw it started going across. Some went solo, others went in small groups. After a lap or two, the break had 13 or 14 riders. Having my head up my ass made for the lousy view and made it difficult to pedal, so I didn't go across. Luckily, however, my teammate Jason Brown wasn't suffering a similar condition and he got up there.

I spent the next five minutes or so extracting my melon and patrolling the front while AMD and another team I didn't recognize set tempo for the field. Meanwhile, the break split into two groups with seven in the lead group.

Now I was really mad at myself. I knew there was no way to make it to the front group of seven. Almost every strongman in the race was up there: Wire, Nolan, Bosch, Reaney, etc. Even if the field got organized, it would have probably taken 10 guys rotating at the front just to catch those seven and the odds of getting 10 geezers from different teams to organize a chase are about as good as Liebold hiring a Nobel Laureate for temp help instead of a carnival worker. (I only kid because I love)

With about 15 or 20 minutes to go the field had gained ground on the chase group. The bridge to the chase group looked like a job for two instead of one so I started hoping for someone to take strong flyer that I could to latch onto. Instead of cathcing a flyer, John Ashe, who's listed as unattached on the results page, just rolled off the front and I went with him. The field let us go and we got across to the chase group. The bridge brought me back to my teammate Brown, but we didn't stay reunited long.

Ashe attacked the chase group and created a five man split: Me; Ashe; Jeff Poulsen (Safeway); Kyle Glerum (Safeway); and Richard Jaurez (it says Pasadena Athletic Assoc on the results page, but he was wearing Merrill Lynch gear).

We did three or four laps all gentlemanly like, then the five-to-go cards came out. Ashe and Juarez started the attacking. Dumb ass me would let myself be on a Safeway wheel, so when the attacks came the Safeway wheel I was on would let a gap form, while the other jumped with the attack. I doubt Safeway was targeting me to take off the back, I just happened to be the one susceptible to the tactic.

So the five of us did the attack and counter attack dance for the last four laps. On the last lap we played a little cat and mouse then with about 500 to go Juarez jumped. The four of us covered. Poulsen jumped right before the last corner with about 300 to go and held us off for eighth place. I came in 9th.

I wish I knew what happened in the lead group of seven. Anyway here's the top 15 from the EMC results page:

Men - Cat 1/2/3 - Master - 35-99
1 (1 - Cat1) Lawrence Nolan 26205 AMD-Discovery Channel Cycling
2 (2 - Cat1) Chris Wire 152176 SAFEWAY/G.A.Communications
3 (3 - Cat1) Andres Gil 171882 Pacific State Bank/Anderson Homes Cyclin
4 (1 - Cat2) Brian Bosch 40703 Central Valley Cycling
5 (2 - Cat2) Joel Robertson 220316 Kaiser Permanente/ Team Oakland Cycling
6 (3 - Cat2) Eric Easterling 79101 Central Valley Cycling
7 (4 - Cat2) Steve Reaney 133288 California Giant Berry Farms/Specialized
8 (5 - Cat2) Jeff Poulsen 28533 SAFEWAY/G.A.Communications
9 (6 - Cat2) John Fairbanks 83306 Specialized/Sierra Nevada
10 (7 - Cat2) John Ashe 43660 Unattached
11 (8 - Cat2) Kyle Glerum 195470 SAFEWAY/G.A.Communications
12 (9 - Cat2) Richard Juarez 71186 Pasadena Athletic Assoc (PAA)
13 (10 - Cat2) Joseph Oliveri 26674 EMC2/Vellum Cycles
14 (11 - Cat2) Jason Brown 53115 Specialized/Sierra Nevada
15 (4 - Cat1) William Innes 52412 AMD-Discovery Channel Masters

Plain as the nose on your face

I'm wondering why hasn't anyone in the public's eye started clamoring for an end to the Iraq War and the overall War on Terror by having our nation use less oil?

Islamic terrorists will continue to threaten us. But if we decrease terrorism's ultimate revenue source, oil, the number of terrorists will decrease proportionally.

I wonder how long it would take for our nation to meet its foreign policy goals in the Middle East after the region's leaders got the message that the world's biggest economy and the biggest oil consumer is serious about using other sources of energy besides oil.

This War on Terror is so needlessly tragic. The jihadists say they just want our nation out of the Middle East. We can't get out of the Middle East since, as our president says, "America is addicted to oil."

Why aren't there solar panels on every rooftop in sunny states? Why aren't there more windfarms? Why aren't we driving more electrical, hybrid or fuel cell powered cars?

Oh yeah, the cost. Well gee, there's a thing called economy of scale. Henry Ford didn't invent the internal combustion engine. There were cars long before the Model T. Ford, however, did come up with the idea for assembly line production, which in turn, made the production of cars cheaper, which in turn, reduced the car's market price, which in turn, made cars affordable for most Americans. Economy of scale.

I'm in the limited government camp. Although I do believe that in some cases national interest supercedes free market principles. If we can reduce terrorism's financing, that's a big national interest in my book and a good enough reason for the federal government to help alternative fuel industries reach economies of scale.

The federal government is already giving away tax write offs for buying alternatively fueled cars. Let's extend the program's sunset date, boost its funding and let's make sure everyone in the country knows about the write offs. Let's get creative. Anything that can reduce our nation's addiction to oil should be one of our government's highest priorities.

President Bush recently signed a $100 billion Iraq War funding bill. Sixty Minutes did a piece in Feb. 2006 which began, "The United States has spent more than a quarter of a trillion dollars during its three years in Iraq."

$850 billion in taxpayer money on Iraq. $50 billion of that sum spent on tax breaks for Americans or other programs aimed at reducing oil consumption would have done more to end the Iraq War and the overall War on Terror than anything else except for soldier's equipment.

Yes, ensuring Iraq has electricity, adequate hospitals and other necessary infrastructure is important. But we can help rebuild Iraq'a infrastructe at a fraction of the cost once Iraq is no longer a war zone. And the fastest way to change Iraq's war zone status is to start threatening the livlihoods of Middle Eastern leaders.

If the United States spends $50 billon on reducing its oil consumption, I bet that gets the attention of Middle Eastern leaders.

First, if I'm a bad guy leader who's funding terrorism, I just lost some sales and I don't have as much money to give to my jihadists.

Second, if I'm a good guy leader who's source of riches and power is derived from oil, I start cracking down on jihadists inside my borders because they're bad for business.

But we as a nation barely do anything to threaten a Middle Eastern leader's source of riches and power, so why should we expect any of them to do anything about terrorism? Middle Eastern leaders want to help us because we're the world's remaining superpower and they want to retain good diplomatic relationships with us? Please.

If the United States got serious politically about reducing our dependence on oil, terrorism could be less of a concern and there certainly wouldn't need to be a "war" against it.

Don't think, meat

Perfect little thinktank moment while crushing the pedals during Sunday's Modesto road race. About 10 miles into a 63 mile race, there's a break of three up the road which includes my teammate Peter Allen.

Someone punches it in a crosswind section creating havoc in the peleton. We turn onto a tailwind section, still full hammer mode. Whoever was on front relents for a moment and one of the strongmen left in the field, Bubba Melcher, gets on his bad motor scooter. I jump onto Bubba's wheel and we're off. Bubba pulls at 36 mph for a long time, then lets off the gas just for a second as if to say to me, "well, I ain't draggin' your ass all the way up there."

Before pulling through, I check under my arm and it's "Clean Up! Aisle Six!" Tiny groups of what was once the peleton litter the road like broken eggs on a grocery store floor. My brain starts chewin' on: helping put Bubba into the break would probably cement the break's success, but right now Peter has at least a 33% chance of winning from a break of three. Is Bubba a good addition or bad one?; if I don't help, how likely is Bubba to make it up there on his own?; if Bubba comes back to the pack, he'll certainly launch again, and he'll have other strongmen to help him. Will the break survive that condition?

Pondering those three scenarios in a blink of an eye didn't get me any closer to the answer I sought. So I decide to ask Bubba for his opinion.

Me: "So whaddya think?"

Bubba: "Don't think! Pedal!"

He was right of course. I'm still laughing at myself over that one.

Just great

Barry Bonds hit a 400 foot laser last night for his 741st career home run. He's 14 shy of Hank Aaron's 755 record. There's a lot of flap about Bonds not deserving such a hallowed mark since anyone with an ounce of common sense knows he used performance enhancing drugs.

I don’t respect guys who take short cuts or their achievements, however, Bonds is just one player in a league full of cheaters. The pitchers are on steroids, or HGH, or whatever, just the same as Bonds.

Yeah, it's true the faster the pitch the further the hit. But it's also true that the faster the pitch the tougher it is to make contact.

Aaron set the mark for his day and age.

Unfortunately, Bonds will set the mark for ours.

Cheaters suck.

McEwen - 300/ Haedo + 470

I'm sure something like that is going to be out there if JJ Haedo makes CSC's Tour de France squad, and man, I would love to get down on the money line for Haedo winning the green jersey. His freaking lead out man is going to be none other than Paris/Roubaix winner Stuart O'Grady! Before O'Grady rocked the cobbles Sunday he and Haedo were in CA for our little bike race. On the stage finishing in Sacramento, O'Grady led out Haedo from so far back I couldn't see where the lead out began from my vantage point at the finish line. And on the TV coverage, O'Grady and Haedo just appear on screen out of nowhere making everyone else look like they're standing still. O'Grady blew past Luca Paolini, Thor Hushovd and George Hincapie before dropping Haedo off with less than 200 to go. It was text book. At the line Haedo had put five bike lenghts on Paolini and seven or so on Thor.

Granted, that was the Tour of California. Even if Haedo makes the TDF squad he still has to finish the race for a degenerate like me to cash in on his efforts. It's a big risk to bet that a sprinter who was racing in North America last year will make it through the mountains to the Champs d Elysee. But still, with O'Grady as his lead out man, Haedo winning the green is an attractive proposition. I haven't bet on bike racing, yet, but I do have some experience with football. I'd guess McEwen would be the favorite somewhere around bet $300 to win $100. That'd put Haedo, who's probably low- to mid-pack among green jersey contenders, somewhere around bet $100 to win $470.

Great odds, just need to find a book.

Bran muffins for breakfast

I'm a pretty regular guy who likes a regular routine. I wave hi on my way to work each day to the same neighbors taking a walk. I park in the same spot on the 4th floor of the city garage. But today marks the first unnerving occasion concerning my morning routine. Every day about a half hour before lunch I grab the sports page and take a trip to the reading room. All this week I've been sharing the library with a man on my floor who has to be in his seventies. I'm sorry but something ruins a soon to be middle aged guy's most peaceful part of the day when there's a septugenarian nearby who's on the same bodily function schedule. I guess all that's left for me to look forward to now is moving my office closer to the end of the hall in case of emergencies.

Publicity hounds and media jackals

Listed among the Bay Area events reporters may want to cover today is the US citizenship ceremony where Odessa Gunn, wife of "famed cyclist Levi Leipheimer," will become a naturalized citizen. The 10 a.m. ceremony is in SF at the Masonic Auditorium and "reporters interested in interviewing Gunn should arrive at 9:30 a.m."

Sharon Rummery is the contact for the event. Typically the contact is a public relations person.

I'll try to refrain as much as possible from asking questions on this blog without at least providing some half-baked answer, but in this case I don't understand the overall PR angle.

Is this the work of Levi's PR folks keeping Levi's name in the news and bolstering his image as a Bay Area celebrity in a run up to what will hopefully be Levi's fantastic run in this year's Tour de France?

Is Odessa making a PR run herself, a la Spice Beckham, prior to launching a line of clothes, fragrances, etc.?

Maybe someone in the cycling community can help me see the overall picture here.

In totally unrelated news, there's a front page story in today's Wall Street Journal headlined "Amgen's Star Fades Amid Safety Questions." The story says Amgen has lost $20 billion in market cap after regulators placed a "black box warning" March 9 on labels of Amgen's amenia drugs including EPO. Amgen's CEO notes "that more than 50 studies show the anemia drugs are safe when used according to the label."

OK, one more question sans half-baked answer: "Does the EPO label list blood boosting for cyclists among the drug's recommended uses?"

Jan drivels, Basso quibbles

The organization representing UCI Pro Tour teams has called for all riders implicated in the Operation Puerto blood doping scandal to submit to DNA tests following former Tour de France champion Jan Ulrich having been conclusively linked to the scandal through such testing.

Ulrich says he's "blameless" in the whole affair and will tell his "version of the facts" in an upcoming memoir, "Bikes, Blow and Babes... the only reasons to ride." In the memoir, Ulrich says that if he really wanted that badly to win the Tour again he would have hired the guy who dresses up like the devil to kneecap Lance with a lead pipe after the 2001 stage to Alp d'Huez.

The other 2006 tour contender implicated in the scandal, Ivan Basso, also claims innocence and says he'll gladly submit to a DNA test. Providing that his DNA sample is submitted in connection to a judicial or national governing body's investigation led by Inspector Clouseau. Basso, however, didn't require the exhumation of slapstick genius Peter Sellers, which leaves the door open for Steve Martin to reprieve the role he fumbled in a 2005 remake.

On Saturday, Levi Leipheimer blew through the finish line at Copperopolis without stopping to sign a single autograph. On his way past the crowd lining the street Levi shouted over his shoulder, "Can't stop now, I've gotta find Steve."

Brave New World

I bumped into a story on velonews.com headlined "ProTour teams and (most) riders commit to DNA tests." The story is here. at the bottom of the column.

The story was both scary and encouraging. If the UCI creates a DNA bank for some of the world's best athletes, that's troubling to me. Over-analyzation is my default position, and while reading the story my mind drifted to the opening scene of Brave New World where the Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning leads students on a tour of the the fertilizing room. Of course right to privacy is the immediate issue for the riders, but whenever I read about DNA being stored for any purpose, I take logical leaps and I bound off in the direction of a Brave New World.

The encouraging part is what DNA testing can do for the sport. I can't imagine how a doctor's program could sneak past such scrutiny. Plus, DNA testing could hamper the peleton from using designer drugs that alter genes. Part of why I love cycling is because I can get on the road and compare myself to the professionals (quite dimly I must admit). But when I hit 40 mph in a sprint or take a pull on the front at 33 mph, I feel like, for that brief moment, I'm doing something the pros do. That feeling is motivating; it keeps me wanting to ride my bike and train harder; it helps me appreciate the beautiful spectacle that is bike racing. If I know the pros are all pharmaceutically enhanced, the feeling is diminished.

I guess since a Brave-New-World society where elitists lead a slack-jawed, happy and complacent middle class isn't inevitable, I'm for the DNA testing.

bike in the garage, front porch getting bigger

Tough day at work. Home in time to do an hour on the bike trail before dinner. Missed lunch, better eat first. Healthy food, hell no - corndog, make that two. Hmm, what to do whilst eating. Check on Vanderpoopie, he's always good. Ha, sucky things he sucks at, dude's funny. Read rest of that story about Tribune Co. selling to Sam Zell or to the team of Ron Burkle and Eli Broad. Either way both suitors propose leveraging the retirement accounts of Tribune employees so the employees, as a non-voting bloc, become the majority shareholder in the company. Huh? If the suitor sinks the ship the employees lose their retirement savings. I don't know. If I was a 30 year employee of the LA Times or Newsday or another Tribune subsid, I'd be wanting a back up plan before the big wigs seal that deal. Well, I digress, back to corndogs, bikes and my frontporch. Corndogs were delicious. Discipline needed to get on bike waning. Loosen the belt, my frontporch needs more room.

Remembrances

He was the one at the bar who said hello to him. He was the one who wore a tattered t-shirt and baggy shorts. He was the one who smelled like cigarette smoke mixed with gasoline. There was a pause from him before recognizing that he was once the boy who knew him best of anyone. Memories rushed in with such clarity, as if they were old movies playing for him on the silent TV up in the corner. So many happy memories of being high and laughing in the sun, of cutting school to play wiffle ball in the park, of swimming at the lake in the summers. Then the memories turned to fire. The kind of fire that burns nostrils then drips down the back of the throat. The kind of fire that burns in tin foil and plumes enticing smoke. The devil lives in fire, he affirmed to him, who the smoke scared. That was the last they saw of each other, until now at the bar. It would have been inappropriate for him to show the love still in his heart. How's your mom doin'? She's ok, and yours? Yeah, same. You take care. Yeah, you too.

So I'm thinking...

I was telling Mrs. Banks about Merco/McLane and how it was such a competitive field with great riders coming from all over which led me to thinking about nationals. Sure would be nice to tell Mrs. Banks that I was in the same field as the national champion.

So how do we get the national champion to our ncnca master races? Well, doing our best to ensure that he comes from the district sure would increase the odds.

But how do we do our best to ensure the nation's best master comes from our district? Well, we send an all-star team to nationals. I know on my team participating in nationals isn't a sponsor requirement and I think it's that way across the board. If a sponsor objects to ncnca masters joining together for nationals, I suggest using a rising tide lifts all boats argument. If we can bring back the stars and stripes jersey, our stock as a district rises and the teams in the district will have more prestige and prestige is always good for sponsors.

Now I'm not saying this is a great idea and we should start right away organizing an all-star masters squad for nationals. However, I do think this idea could possibly work, but it needs thoughtful feedback and further refinement.

The first obstacle to overcome is how to fund this venture. I'd kick in $250 and if I could find 29 other like contributors that's $7500, which should be enough to buy some kits, give the squad gas money and some coin for hotel rooms. If a squad member wants to bring friends or family with him, it's on his dime, but he'd still get an equal portion of the contributed funds. I'd need help finding 29 other contributors.

The next obstacle to overcome would be selecting which category to race: 35-39 or 40-44. I'm leaning towards 35-39 since, I believe, the 40-44 year-olds can race down in age but it's not visa versa. Besides, from what I've seen, the all-star caliber masters in our district who are 40 and over can easily compete with 35-year olds.

Now onto the nuts and bolts... how to select the squad? I propose:

1. Giving one vote to all the ncnca masters who finished in the top 3 of any 2006 masters 1/2/3 event.
2. Voters would submit 10 names to an election official. Then the official would tally the names.
3. The top eight names from the vote would be on the team.
4. I think we should send nine masters to nationals and since the electorate might leave a deserved someone off the squad, the eight elected members would vote on the ninth.
5. If there's a 4 to 4 tie, the top vote getter from the first vote would have two votes toward selecting the ninth member.

So I'd be among the voters who submit 10 names. I'd have to scour last year's results before listing all 10, but with just these names below, I'd really like our district's chances at bringing back a jersey either in the RR or crit.

Michael Hernandez
Dan Martin
Jeff Poulsen
Michael Hutchinson
Dean LaBerge
Kevin Metcalf
Nathan Parks

So there it is. Critique, deride, support, but please remember its just a thought.

13hrs in county wearing bright blue spandex, chapter two

So Gish pulls me up off the ground and begins marching me to the squad car. With his one hand on my handcuffed wrists, he rudders me along from one side of the intersection to the other. I'm not looking up to see what the TV news crew is doing, or what anyone else at the scene is doing for that matter. I just clickity-clack along in my cleated bike shoes, embarassed, towards the black and white.

The first noticeable thing about the back seat of a squad car is how little room there is. It's such tight quarters that if you exhale too much, you'll fog the plexiglass separator. Long after my spandex clad jail adventure, I asked an officer who gets more room back there: a human or police dog? He said the dog.

Another thing about the back seat is it's entirely made of plastic. The floor and backside of the front seat are covered in rubber material. I wasn't expecting leather, but I figured there'd be at least cheap vinyl upholstry. The officer who told me police dogs get more room also explained that canines get cushioning and upholstry since they don't get drunk and puke.

Following the handcuffing, I resigned to not saying another word. So I'd been sitting quietly for a long time before a flatbed tow truck came on the scene. Apparently this frees Gish and his partner for the trip to jail. The partner hops into driver's seat and pops the trunk. I see Gish rolling my $4500 bike toward the car. Crash! Clang! Thump... Thump... Thump.... I turn around and there's Gish dropping the trunk on top of a bicycle part protruding from the compartment. Thump... I turn forward in silent rage. Gish leaves the trunk ajar.

The trip to jail began with a U-turn, exactly the same manuever I pulled that started this mess. My spandex covered rear end doesn't grip at all on the plastic seat and I have to dig my cleated feet into the rubber floor to prevent from crashing into the side door.

On the way downtown, Gish sees two homeless looking guys riding clunker bikes on the sidewalk.

"It's illegal to ride on the sidewalk," he loudly admonishes them over the cruiser's loudspeaker. "Get off now!"

I just shudder.

Tour of CA at Capitol

I haven't had a chance yet to start chapter two of my jail story, but I thought the following piece I wrote for my website on CA government and politics might be interesting to the biking community. Capitol folks were really excited about seeing the tour.

From Capitol Morning Report, Feb. 21 edition --

Thousands of people lined the streets around the Capitol for the finish of yesterday's stage of the Tour of California. JJ Haedo of Team CSC went flying past the VIP tents lining L Street en route to the victory. Levi Leipheimer with Team Discovery finished in the pack and retained his overall tour lead.

Before the medal ceremony Gov. Schwarzenegger addressed the crowd. He thanked the tour sponsors for putting on such a spectacular event showcasing our state's natural beauty. Then he declared that France can't hold a candle to us, which elicited a roar of approval.

We asked some Capitol folks in the crowd for their thoughts about the race and here's what they said.

--Asm. Lori Saldana - If there's such a thing as an adrenaline contact high, this was it. Total rush.

--Lt. Gov. John Garamendi - The crowd and the noise were unbelievable. We saw world-class cyclists racing at 40-plus mph, with teammates on the various squads helping push each other to the front of the pack for a mutual victory. That's not always how it happens in this building, (the Capitol) but it should be. I'm looking forward, hopefully, to seeing next year's event back here in Sacramento.

--Speaker's Deputy Chief of Staff Steve Maviglio (a bike commuter) - I rode my bike in today in solidarity.

--Political Dir. Paul Mitchell, EdVoice - Amazing. It was great to see so many Capitol people get a thrill out of cycling. I can't wait to get out on my bike.

--Lobbyist Justin Fanslau, whose clients include CA Bicycle Coalition - Watching the tour roar by me was a thrill. With so many spectators on hand and the sound that their applause and excitement made makes advocating for safe roads in California a privilege.

--Paul Hegyi, Chief of Staff, Office of Asm. Van Tran - Having the peloton blow by near 40 miles an hour was an exhilarating experience. The riders are so fast it created a cool gust of wind, a nice change from the hot air we're accustomed to at the Capitol.

--Secty. A.G. Kawamura, Dept. of Food & Agriculture - What a great way to celebrate health and fitness for our state. It takes discipline to be an athlete and discipline to work on being healthy. Eat more fruits and vegetables!

--Lobbyist Brendan Twohig, Twohig Consulting - These guys were going so fast I felt like I drank a glass of dirt from what came off the road. I loved it! Sacramento and Amgen did a great job.

--Senate Republican consultant Cory Salzillo -- Seeing the top pros in the sport of cycling charging down the streets of Sacramento was quite a thrill. It was great to see all of the sponsors, elected and local officials, and racing fans come out to support what is becoming one of California's premier sporting events.

13 hrs in county wearing bright blue spandex, chapter 1

"Hey you!," a gruff voice shouted from behind. "Come here."

I thought there's no way that command was intended for me, but I turned around to look anyway. Glaring at me was a police officer. He was stumpy and rumpled and obviously very perturbed. I wheeled my bike around and rode over to him.

"You bicyclists think you own the road," began a two minute diatribe delivered by one Officer Gish. I don't remember the specifics of the banality that followed.

I'd done a U-turn on a minor city street. The road stripe was dashed not solid. Recalling my driver's ed class from 15 years prior, I was pretty sure I'd broken no laws. I figured destiny dealt me an unfortunate encounter with an officer who wanted to vent, but couldn't cite me for anything. So I did my best to ignore the smelly vitriol blowing into my face.

For most of the rant, I looked over his head at a car flipped on its hood blocking the intersection. I'd done the U-turn to avoid being detoured onto a one-way street going the opposite direction I wanted to go. Dumbfounded barely describes my state of mind as I pondered how much this guy must despise cyclists for him to quit attending to a spectacular crash in order to berate me.

Two minutes is a long time for a berating. About half-way I grew to be as perturbed as Gish. I was on my way home from a 60 mile group ride where we race on a levee road out to the county line and back. I was tired and hungry and holding back a growing urge to tell this chump where to put his badge.

Two minutes was also enough time for the TV news van to arrive on the scene. Oh great, I thought. The reporter will see the flipped over car and a policeman dressing down a guy on a bike and think I had something to do with the crash.

Finally, Gish asks me a direct question. "What's your name?" he growled.

I looked at him expressing as much disdain as I could muster and lied. "Todd Martin," I said. Oh if I could have a do-over on that one.

In fact I tried. Gish shocked me and began writing a ticket.

"Um," I said to him in a conciliatory tone, "could we start over. Todd Martin's not my real name."

"Well who do you want to be this time?" Gish asked haughtily.

"I'll be who I really am, John Fairbanks," I replied.

"Do you have ID?"

"No. I'm on my way home from a long bike ride and I don't carry my driver's license with me when I'm riding."

"Hmmmm." Gish leans his head closer to the radio attached to his shoulder and calls headquarters to verify my name and address. Another ten minutes pass while he goes back and forth with the crackling voice from HQ.

Meanwhile, the TV crew is taking shots of the car. I look the other way to avoid having my face wind up on the five o'clock news. Lucky for me another officer appears from the opposite side of the intersection. He starts talking to the news crew so they don't come over to Gish and me.

Dispatch confirmed my identity and Gish goes about zealously writing a ticket. For what, I have no clue, but I sign my name anyway just so I can be on my way. It's obvious Gish wants to teach me a lesson by inconveniencing me as much as possible.

Before he tears off the ticket and gives it to me, he starts fumbling through his breast pocket. He stands in silence while his chubby fingers dig. Out comes a folded piece of paper which Gish slowly unfolds and holds up to the sun for examination. "What the hell is this guy doing?" I'm thinking. The piece of paper wasn't his intended target. He meticulously refolds it. This takes longer than the unfolding. Back in the pocket the paper goes. More chubby fingered fumbling and he's still not saying a word. Finally he finds the object of his inefficient search. It's a small ink pad.

"Gimme your thumb," Gish says to me in the same gruff tone he used to first get my attention.

"Why? " I reply. "I signed the ticket. You know who I am."

"Do you have your ID?"

"I told you, I don't carry it with me when I'm riding."

"Gimme your thumb!" Gish barks once again.

"Wh..." I was going to ask why again, but before I could finish saying the word Gish knocks me off my bike onto the ground. He rolls me over, pulls my arms behind my back and handcuffs me.

I'm off for a 13 hour adventure in county lock-up wearing bright blue spandex.

How I got here

Last week I was bumping around ncncaracing.com and ran into a race report on the Cal Aggie crit written by Michael Hernandez. His name at the end of the report was a link to his blog, Hernando go lightly. The blog is awesome and I commented on a couple of his posts. Then I realized that I was one of the few blogless folks leaving comments. I don't know if this is an etiquette thing or not, but suddenly I felt like I shouldn't be commenting on the writings of others without writing something myself. So here I am.